Rule #4: No one goes home alone.

In December I crashed a wedding.

To be more technical I was the second date of an invited guest. Two dates? That’s Andy for you.

Yeah, you'd be his second date, too.

Let me tell you a bit about this gent. The Johnny Depp body double originally hails from the UK and travelled across the pond for University where he met an adorable cheerleader.

Oh wait, that's me.

He played football, rugby and coached women’s basketball. I always said hi so I could hear that accent. Who knew we’d become friends? After a few years of working after graduation, my dear Brit had to go home. He’s now living in Spain teaching English to children and coaching soccer. When he got the invitation to Katie and Dave’s wedding he knew he was coming back – and I didn’t say no to the chance of getting to see a long-lost friend.

That brings me to this wedding where I met date #1. I don’t think she liked me. Not that it really matters, she wasn’t interested in Andy, she ended up hooking up with one of his friends that night. We bonded over a few drinks; she shot numerous eye daggers at me.

The reception was lovely, and the bride looked gorgeous.

Awww romance.

Every wedding has rules and etiquette to follow. Don’t wear white, don’t wear the same colour as the bridesmaids (unless they are in black, then you’re home free), don’t get so drunk you cause a scene, etc. But when you are crashing a wedding there is a whole new set of rules.

Here is the Laura wedding crashing etiquette guide:

  • Just because you weren’t invited doesn’t mean you can forget the present
  • Don’t go too overboard on the gift. Find out where they are registered and buy a gift card.
  • Check yourself – it’s not your day, look nice, but don’t go too fancy.
  • Talk with the bride and groom. If it’s a small wedding you will be noticed – don’t act as if you’re trying to fly under the radar.
  • Leave with whom you came. Be known for coming, not for leaving. ;)
  • If you crash the wedding, crash the after party and sleep in the bridal suite.

Oh, I feel I’ll have to explain that last point. Remember how I mentioned that date #1 was getting busy? That’s where Andy and I were supposed to sleep, too. Change of plans. To kill some time we grabbed a few drinks and walked around the hotel to see who else was up. Turns out there was an AP in the bridal suite. A bunch of us were sitting around, laughing and drinking. Except for Andy, who was passed out hard on the couch.

Hold the camera by your crotch.

Maybe we partied a bit hard, and maybe Andy flew in the day before and was still five hours ahead of the Eastern timezone.

As everyone began filing out of the hotel room, I was stuck with sleeping Depp.

“Just sleep on our pulllout couch,” says the bride. More like insists.

I felt awkward as hell, but had to accept. It wasn’t as bad as you think – it was a two-story suite with the bedroom on the top floor, very hidden from the couch. Also, this wasn’t their first night sharing a bed *aaaaa wink* ;) Either way, we still slept in the bridal suite on the wedding night.

Even though I wasn’t an official guest, Katie also followed Laura etiquette.

Thank you cards.

YUP! A thank you card, with their beautiful faces on it. I just got it in the mail tonight.

Do you have any tips on wedding crashing?

To check out the full list of the Wedding Crashers rules, click here.

Some of my favourites have to include:

Rule #12: When it stops being fun, break something.

Rule #49: Be pensive! It draws out the “healer” in women.

Rule #84: Shoes say a lot about a man.

Rule #106: Know your swing and salsa dancing. Girls love to get twisted around.