I’m a firm believer of trying anything twice. Once isn’t a fair judgement.
I had brunch with my fabulous friend Anna yesterday, where she shared with me her experience at speed dating – something I tried last April. Her experience sounded just as I remembered: lacking. I may just break my own rule. Will I give it a second try? Not quite yet. But as the Biebs says, never say never.
Finding the One: Speed Dating
As a single girl in a new-ish city, I decided to keep my options open when it came to finding a male companion. I created an online dating account, and asked friends to set me up. Then I typed three scary words into Google: Calgary Speed Dating. Since a 24 second search returned 985,000 results, I narrowed it down to 25dates.com thanks to a friend’s glowing review of their events in Toronto.
Full of confidence – and a little gin – I strutted my way to the host bar on a Wednesday night with two girlfriends in tow. My hair was perfect, my makeup was fresh, and I was dressed adorably. It was the Laura you’d find on any first date, expect that night she’d have 13.
I found my name tag, was briefed on the rules, and found my seat at Table G. Girls would stay put and every five minutes the men, age 25-35, would rotate counterclockwise.
My biggest fear came true when the first ‘date’ started: I talked and talked and asked all the questions. Beforehand I purposely gave myself a pep talk not to control the conversation. Then it hit me, why not? I’m an overly talkative person who loves to get to know people. Why was I trying to be anyone but myself? New plan: be authentic.
Date after date came and went, some conversations were easy and flowing, while others were more difficult to maintain. I laughed a lot and met 13 new men. Then came the time for judging. The process reminded me of grade school love notes. Do you like me? Yes, no, maybe. Except this time there was no maybe; I had to be decisive. With a strike of my pen I made my decisions and realized if someone was a ‘maybe’ they were going down as a ‘yes’ since there was something about them that sparked my interest in five short minutes. The company sends the email addresses of any matches made for the night, and the rest is up to you.
I sat down at Table G knowing I would talk to a handful of men. I didn’t go in expecting to find the love of my life, or even one match, and I didn’t have any questions prepared; for those reasons I was relaxed and casual and got to enjoy the whole night. I tried it, and that my only goal. To be completely honest, the best part was having two friends with me to share the experience with, and debrief with over nachos and beer.
My three simple speed-dating tips:
- Don’t expect anything
- Be your authentic self
- If you think maybe, check yes
Have you ever tried speed dating? Would you?