when i declared that i was going to spend time out of my comfort zone at the beginning of lent, i thought it was going to proceed like my usual goals: make a list – on pretty paper – and cross off each frightening thing as i went along. it would be a little pride tally of all the scary and brave things that i had accomplished in 40 days.
gold stars all around.
that’s not how it’s going this time. sort of unconsciously, i have created an intention to act in ways often foreign to me. it was not planned, it’s just what started to happen. like a big, hairy audacious impulsion.
it only took one night of catching up on sleep from a stressful
week month for me to realize it. i was just acting in a new way. i was making decisions that were out of my comfort zone without any thought.
here’s some of what i’ve realized i’ve done without overthinking:
- i left my condo of 2.5 years and moved my life down the road. scary.
- i took every dance class that was extended to me. scary.
- i have been bold in asking for things i want in business and expect from friends. scary.
- i booked a spur-of-the-moment, less-than-48-hours trip to be spontaneous. scary (and so exciting).
- i jumped with both feet into dating and gave all of myself with no walls to my interactions. scary.
all of those actions found me operating different than normal. it hasn’t been without bumps in the road and metaphorical wounds that may take a little bit of time to heal. but i opened myself up; i felt a range of emotions. i guess that was the point.
i still have one week left of lent, and i’m looking forward to what will manifest in that time. this is definitely a lesson i’m happy to be learning and taking with me.
photo of the mail i received from my amazing sister, because she is the most thoughtful and caring person you’ll know.