solivagant – i love this word. thank you, internet. something i’ve been working on lately is being okay with myself, by myself. and i’m getting pretty good at it. i like heading out of adventures with my own company and i’ve always been a fan of the solo restaurant visit. then, days like last friday hit, and your own company is possibly the worst thing you could imagine. loneliness is palpable and painful and creates horrible negative self talk about being unloveable, not good enough, etc. thankfully i woke up saturday morning and called bullshit on my friday self and moved on. why am i working on this, you may ask? well, self love is super important. but also, i don’t believe that there is someone out there for everyone (if you don’t settle. please don’t settle, friends) and the possibility of growing old alone is a real thing. so if i’m not okay on my own and that’s how this crazy life pans out for me, then it’s going to be a tough battle. i’m getting with it now.
while visiting with the doctors and focusing on a new meal plan, i’ve neglected all types of fitness. the occasional walk/run here and there was doing nothing for keeping my heart healthy. nor my weak, weak lungs – struggle bus on numerous sets of stairs. i’m really thankful for the blog squad at times like these, because these ladies love their fitness and encourage others to join along. we took on surfset all together on sunday, and a bunch of us went to barre on wednesday to celebrate ange’s birthday (and then ice cream, because village. duh). i also went to yoga on monday, did cardio on thursday with a work friend, and am trying orange theory fitness in red deer tonight with becky and lindsey (i’m going to die). if the weather cooperates, i’ll be on a mountain somewhere on monday. i need to make very regular fitness a part of everyday life – it doesn’t need to be drastic, but as long as i’m moving – because of obvious life and health reasons that everyone should be active, but also because it has a great healing affect on pcos/insulin.
i’ve made really grown up life decisions the last week-ish, in addition to opening and putting money into a TFSA, i also bought a vacuum (and used it). those are actions of a responsible person, and that’s ultimately terrifying! i felt like i needed to balance it with a on-a-whim decision, like an impromptu trip, but instead i ordered a new laptop last night. which is a medium decision. i bought my last laptop in 2008 and it’s super slow now: reasonable; but the new one is a macbook air and super pretty: pretty things.
blog events are a thing again as of this week. because of the increased doctor visits and two trips in the last month, i’ve has to say no to a bunch of invitations. well, that and my increasing anxiety when it comes to strangers and large groups. it’s been great to catch up with my pr friends (i miss that life) and learn about new spaces/products/events while keeping myself reasonably calm. i even forced myself to talk to a stranger, granted he was there to talk to the media, but i still made the first move. it didn’t hurt that he was younger and kinda cute. because i’m also the most awkward human, i ended up scolding a coffee urn out loud in front of him. not a lot of people understand my humour. and forced him to show me photos of his dog. that’s just what i do.
what are you up to for the long weekend?