let your hair down and relax a little with me, won’t you? it’s been a while since we’ve been casual on a friday.
i’m not too pumped about the snowfall on the roofs. being away for six weeks of fall, i feel like i really didn’t get to experience my favourite season. winter has come too quickly, and i found myself only half-jokingly texting the friend i went to mexico with asking when we can go back.
there is a new happiness i’ve found by being home. it was really tough at first; change always causes me to worry – you’d think i’d stop creating so much of it, but no. but now, i’ve experienced the things that convinced me to move: so much sister and family time, long days laughing with my bestie, a quick lunch break catching up with friends on a weekday, (and a new crop of online dating profiles). i had wondered if i made a rash decision (though, it was years in the making) leaving calgary, but i know that’s not the case.
saying this, i have also been anxious about re-joining real life; i’m feeling a great deal of “imposter syndrome”. like i’ll be figured out soon enough – as what, who knows?! – and get fired from any new job i get within the first month. how does that fear go away? why am i such a nervous person? i’d love to blame it on menstruating, but we’ll see what happens next week.
i learned how to read! no, that doesn’t sound right. i knew how to read read, but i’ve only recently learned how to read books. i never knew how to sit still and hold a book without my neck or arms hurting; how do you get comfortable? it takes more concentration than one thinks. but since we got back from Europe i’ve read 11 books and have a goal to finish 15 by the time the year is through. i haven’t really narrowed down which genres i like yet, but nothing too scary. if you have any suggestions, i’d love to hear!
with all of this reading, i’ve been thinking more about my book lately. i don’t want to abandon that dream yet, which probably means i should actually schedule out some time. they always say the busiest people are the most productive, so maybe creativity will come once i’m busy doing other stuff? plus, from some of the stuff i read – they publish some really bad writing/storylines, so i may be in luck!
sister promised me breakfast doughnuts from the guelph farmer’s market tomorrow morning, so i already know my weekend will be great. hope yours is, too!